It's a parody
by FallingforWerewolves
Summary: Hermione's cousins send her a link to something called "A Very Potter Musical".  How do you think some of our favourite characters will react to their musical selves?  Especially Draco Malfoy?  Rated T for language.


**A/N: I don't know if anyone has done this yet, but I'm going to. The characters will be a little OOC, but how else was I supposed to get Draco's reactions to _certain things_ in here? Even if you don't like it, I'm gonna continue writing it because it's fun. Like, ridiculously fun. Warning: expect Dramione hints or at least friendship between them. I haven't decided what I want to do with those two yet. I'll just put up a poll for it on my profile.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the musical. The characters and canon events belong to J.K. Rowling. The musical belongs to Team Starkid (and all their epicness!).**

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><p>Sure, her Muggle cousins found odd things on the internet and sent them to her. But this was ridiculous!<p>

Apparently, some Muggles had made a musical based off the books Harry had written of his adventures. Hermione hadn't watched it yet; she was going to show it to Harry, Ron and Ginny first. She wasn't sure she could watch this... whatever it was without the other three.

She sat down in her assigned seat in potions, which was next to Harry and Ron's table.

"Harry?" she asked as soon as there was a break in his and Ron's conversation. "You remember the books you wrote?" He nodded. "Well, apparently some Muggles turned them into a musical. You know, a parody of sorts."

"Don't tell me you expect us to watch it?" Ron groaned.

Harry shrugged. "Might be interesting. Can Ginny watch too?"

"Of course she can. She's probably in it too."

"Wait a second," Ron said, with a horrified look on his face. "Is everybody in it?"

Hermione shrugged. "I guess, why?"

"Does that mean we're going to have to watch a musical version of Malfoy?"

"A what version of me?"

Draco plopped down next to Hermione. They were stuck as partners in potions at the beginning of the year. After the war, they had all come back to complete their last year at Hogwarts. Once Draco and Hermione had been assigned the positions of Head Boy and Head Girl, the two had called a truce. It turned out that Malfoy wasn't as bad as he had been before and they were all on speaking terms now, at least. Harry, Ron and Draco were civil with each other now; and he and Hermione seemed to be verging on the very edge of almost friendship. She might as well explain to him what they were going on about.

"Some Muggles made a musical version of those books Harry wrote. We're watching it later and Ron is gripping about having to watch the version of you in the musical."

"Ah," Malfoy said, understanding now. Before anyone could say anything else, the new potions master came in and the lesson began.

Later on in the Heads' common room, Hermione had her laptop, a contraption Malfoy didn't understand at all, on the coffee table. Ron, Harry and Ginny were beside her on the couch as she opened the link her cousin had sent her.

"Are you watching that musical?" Malfoy asked when he came in.

"Don't tell me you're planning to watch this," Hermione said.

"Don't tell me you thought I wouldn't," he replied

"You knew he was going to come in eventually," Ginny sighed.

"Weaslette's got a point."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Let's just watch it already."

The lights came on and someone who they guessed to be Harry appeared.

"I don't look half bad," he commented.

_"Underneath these stairs_

_"I hear the sneers and feel the glares of my cousin, my uncle and my aunt_

_"Can't believe how cruel they are_

_"And it stings my lightning scar_

_"That they never, ever give me what I want"_

"That makes me sound greedy," Harry said.

"Who said you weren't?" Malfoy asked.

"Shh," Ginny snapped. "I'm trying to watch!"

_"I know I don't deserve these_

_"Awful rules made by the Dursleys_

_"Here on Privet Drive_

_"I can't take these stupid Muggles_

_"But despite all of my struggles_

_"I'm still alive"_

"And thankful for it."

"Not all of us are," Draco muttered. This earned him a slap on the arm, and a rather hard one at that. "I was only joking."

"Sure you were," Ginny replied impatiently. "Now shut up."

_"I'm sick of summer and just waiting around_

_"Man, it's September and I'm skipping this town_

_"Hey it's no mystery_

_"There's nothing here for me now_

_"I gotta get back to Hogwarts"_

"This is so cheesy," Ron commented through muffled chuckles.

"I have to admit, Potter," Draco said, also chuckling, "you're a pretty decent singer; even if the song is horrible."

"Thanks, I think," Harry replied, sceptically.

_"I gotta get back to school_

_"I gotta get myself to Hogwarts_

_"Where everybody thinks I'm cool"_

Hermione clamped a hand over Draco's mouth. "Don't even start."

_"Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts_

_"Back to goblins and ghosts and magical feasts_

_"It's all that I love and it's all that I need_

_"At Hogwarts, Hogwarts_

_"I think I'm going back_

_"I'll see my friends_

_"We'll laugh 'til we cry_

_"I'll take my Firebolt_

_"Gonna take to the sky_

_"No way this year, anyone's gonna die_

_"And it's gonna be totally awesome_

_"I'll cast some spells_

_"With a flick of my wand"_

"It takes more than that," Hermione began.

Sensing a rant, Ginny said "It's a parody Hermione. No need to get technical."

_"Defeat the Dark Arts_

_"Yeah, bring it on_

_"And do it all with my best friend Ron_

_"'Cause together we're totally awesome"_

This when a tall guy with red hair burst through a door.

_"Yeah, 'cause together we're totally awesome_

**_"Did someone say Ron Weasley?"_**

"Knew I was going to pop up sooner or later," Ron said, staring at the guy who was supposed to be him.

**_"Sorry it took me so long to get here. I had to get some, um, floo powder, but come on, get your trunk, let's go!"_**

**_"Where are we going?"_**

**_"To Diagon Alley, of course!"_**

"How are they going to do the floo powder bit?" Harry wondered aloud.

In answer to his question, the five watched the musical characters chant "**_Floo powder power, floo powder power_**,".

"Muggles do amuse me sometimes," Draco said.

The on-screen Ron began to sing.

_"It's been so long_

_"But we're going back_

_"Don't go for work_

_"Don't go for the class"_

Hermione got an odd look on her face at this, which made the others laugh.

_"As long as we're together" _sang "Harry".

"Ron" took over again. _"Gonna kick some ass"_

_"And it's gonna be totally awesome!" _they both sang.

"Who's that behind them?" Ginny asked, pointing at a girl on the screen.

_"This year we'll take everybody by storm_

_"Stay up all night and sneak out of our dorm"_

"We do that every year," real life Ron said to real life Harry.

The girl behind the two pushed them apart and started singing.

_"Let's not forget_

_"That we need to perform well in class"_

"Who else, but Granger?" Draco asked of no one in particular.

_"If we want to pass our O.W.L.S."_

**_"God, Hermione,"_** musical Ron said. **_"Why do you have to be such a buzz kill?"_**

**_"Because, guys,"_** Hermione sighed, **_"school's not all about having fun. We need to study hard if we want to be good witches and wizards."_**

At this point, more people had come in. Draco was squinting at the screen, looking for himself.

_"I may be frumpy_

_"But I'm super smart_

_"Check out my grades_

_"They're 'A's' for a start_

_"What I lack in looks_

_"I make up in heart_

_"And well guys_

_"Yeah that's totally awesome_

_"This year I plan to study a lot_

_"That would be cool if you were actually hot"_

"OW! I didn't say it! He did!" Ron yelled, holding his cheek and pointing at the screen.

_"Hey, Ron, come on_

_"We're the only friends that she's got_

_"And that's cool_

_"And that's totally awesome_

_"Yeah, it's so cool_

_"Yeah, it's so totally awesome"_

The people in the background were all dancing now. Hermione started laughing randomly.

"What?" Ginny asked, completely confused.

"I just found Malfoy," Hermione managed to say.

"Where am I?" he asked. She pointed to the little blond kid dancing around in the background.

"I'll admit," Draco said, "that I'm a much better dancer than that, but why are you laughing so much?"

"You'll understand when 'you' talk."

_"We're sick of summer and just waiting around_

_"It's like we're sitting in the lost and found_

_"Don't take no sorcery_

_"For anyone to see how_

_"We gotta get back to Hogwarts_

_"We gotta get back to school_

_"We gotta get back to Hogwarts_

_"Where everything is magic-cool_

_"Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts_

_"Back to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts_

_"It's all that I love and all that I need_

_"At Hogwarts, Hogwarts_

_"I think we're going back"_

A girl came up to "Ron" whining.

"I think we found Ginny," said Ron.

**_"Ron! You were supposed to take me to Madame Malkin's and use those sickles Mom gave you for my robe fitting!"_**

**_"Who's this?"_** on-screen Harry asked.

On-screen Ron rolled his eyes. **"_This is stupid dumb little sister Ginny. She's a freshman. Ginny this is Harry Potter."_**

The red-head on screen looked at the main musical character in awe. **_"You're Harry Potter! You're The-Boy-Who-Lived!"_**

"Calm down woman," Malfoy said. "It's only Potter."

**_"Yeah and you're Ginny."_**

**_"Oh, it's Ginevra."_**

**_"Cool. Ginny's fine."_**

**_"Stupid little sister!"_**

The actors playing Ron and Ginny made it look like he had hit her, causing a rage no one wanted to face to boil up in Ginny.

**_"Don't crowd the famous friend."_**

**_"Do you guys here music or something?" _**"Hermione" asked.

"Don't tell me Cho's going to come in," Harry groaned.

"Not happy to see a long-lost love are you?" Malfoy commented, amused.

**_"Music? What are you talking about?"_**

**_"I think someone's coming."_**

_"Cho Chang_

_"Domo arigato, Cho Chang_

_"Gung Hey Fat Choy, Chang_

_"Happy Happy New Year, Cho Chang"_

**_"Wow, who's that?"_**

**_"That's Cho Chang!"_**

**_"Yeah, that's the girl Harry's been totally in love with since freshman year."_**

**_"Yeah, but he won't say anything to her!"_**

**_"Well, yeah. You never tell a girl that you like her. It makes you look like an idiot."_**

The musical Ginny went up to the Chinese girl.

"Since this is completely ridiculous," Hermione said, "I have the feeling that that's not Cho."

**_"Konichiwa Cho Chang. It is good to meet you. I am Ginny Weasley."_**

**_"Bitch, I ain't Cho Chang!"_**

"Called it."

**_"That's Lavender Brown." Smack. "Racist sister!"_**

"Ron would never have the guts to hit me," Ginny commented.

"I don't think anyone would," Harry muttered darkly.

"Especially not you, Potter," Malfoy couldn't resist adding.

**_"Oh that's alright," _**said a tall girl who had a "country" accent. **_"I'm Cho Chang y'all."_**

**_"She's perfect..."_**

**_"Yeah, but too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory, though."_**

"They dragged him into this?" Harry commented disbelievingly.

**_"What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory?"_**

**_"He's that guy, you know? He's just huge and tall and..."_**

A tall guy came in and pushed "Harry", "Ron" and "Hermione" aside.

_"Cho Chang_

_"I am so in love with Cho Chang_

_"From Bangkok to Ding Dang_

_"I'll sing my love aloud for Cho Chang"_

**_"Ugh, I hate that guy."_**

**_"Are we getting those robes or not?"_**

**_"Okay, alright! Let's go!"_**

**_"God, sister!"_**

"Crabbe" and "Goyle" entered and began to bully "Harry" and "Neville".

Afterwards, "Hermione" said: **_"Now let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone."_**

**_"Did somebody say Draco Malfoy?"_**

Everyone laughed, with the exception of Malfoy, finally understanding what Hermione had meant earlier.

"You can't be serious," Draco groaned.

"Oh look!" Ron said pointing at the screen. "He's wearing earrings!"

"I always knew you had a feminine side, Malfoy," Harry chortled.

"Shut up."

**_"What do you want Draco?"_**

**_"Here, Crabbe, Goyle. Take these and get my robes for me. So, Potter back for another year at Hogwarts are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with higher calibur wizards."_**

**_"Listen Malfoy, Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world and I wouldn't trade them for anything."_**

**_"Have it your way." _**Then "he" (**A/N: :)**) caught sight of "Ginny". **_"Wait! Don't tell me! Red hair, hand-me-down clothes and a stupid complexion. You must be a Weasley."_**

"He's just as horrible in the musical," Ron said.

"I still exist here!"

"Yes," Ginny said. "You're also being played by a girl."

He almost growled.

**_"Hey! Lay off my sister, okay? She may be a pain in the ass, but she's my pain in the ass."_**

**_"Well isn't this cute? It's like a little loser family. Hogwarts really has gone to the dogs. But luckily next year, I'll be transferred to Pigfarts."_**

"What the bloody hell is Pigfarts?" asked Draco.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "It's a joke on Hogwarts. Now, shut up! You're about to sing."

Draco groaned while the others leaned forward in anticipation.

_"This year, you bet_

_"Gonna get out of here_

_"The reign of Malfoy is drawing near_

_"I'll have the greatest wizard career_

_"And it's gonna be totally awesome_

_"Look out world for the dawn of the day_

_"When everyone will do whatever I say_

_"And Potter won't be in my way_

_"Then I'll be the one who is totally awesome"_

_"Yeah, you'll be the one who is totally awesome!"_

"Goyle's even worse in real life," Draco muttered, but he wasn't heard over the laughter.

"I'm played by a girl! Can we please move on?"

The musical Draco looked pissed off as well.

**_"Guys come on! We're going to miss the train!"_**

_"Who knows how fast this year's gonna go_

_"Hand me a glass_

_"Let the butterbeer flow"_

_"Maybe at last I'll talk to Cho"_

_"Oh no! That'd be way too awesome!"_

_"We're back to learn_

_"Everything that we can_

_"It's great to come back to where we began_

_"And here we are and alalkazam_

_"Here we go this is totally awesome!_

_"Come on and teach us everything you know_

_"The summer's over and we're itchin' to go"_

_"I think we're ready for_

_"Albus Dumbledore!"_

"Wonder what they have Dumbledore looking like?" Ginny asked.

Once they saw what he looked like, they all couldn't help but giggle and chuckle.

_"Welcome all of you to Hogwarts_

_"I welcome all of you to school_

_"Did you know here at Hogwarts_

_"We have a hidden swimming pool?_

_"Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts_

_"Welcome hotties, nerds and tools_

_"Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts_

**_"I'd like to go over just a couple of rules. My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am Headmaster of Hogwarts. You can call me Dumbledore. I suppose you could also call me Albus if you want a detention. I'm just kidding. I'll expel ya if you call me Albus."_**

_"Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts_

_"Back to gnomes and ghosts and to magical feasts_

_"It's all that I love and it's all that I need _

_"At Hogwarts, Hogwarts_

_"Back to spells and enchantments_

_"Potions and friends_

_"To Gryffindor!_

_"Hufflepuf!_

_"Ravenclaw!_

_"Slytherin!_

_"Back to the place where our story begins_

_"At Hogwarts, Hogwarts"_

**_"I'm sorry, what's its name?"_**

_"Hogwarts, Hogwarts"_

**_"I didn't hear you kids!"_**

_"Hogwarts, Hogwarts!"_

**_"Man, I'm glad I'm back."_**

"That was a long song," Harry said.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Draco commented.

"So," Hermione said, "Do you want to watch some more tomorrow?"

Ginny nodded. "Definitely."

Ron agreed. "I'd give anything to see Malfoy wearing earrings."

Draco shot him the middle finger.

"Well," Hermione interrupted. "It's almost curfew; you guys need to get back to Gryffindor."

They mumbled their goodbyes and left while Hermione shut down her laptop. Malfoy still looked ticked off.

"Does being played by a girl make you question your manly-ness?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes. "Let me answer that with another question: How would you feel if you were being played by a boy?"

She laughed. "Point taken; well, goodnight."

After she had disappeared into her room, Draco sighed.

He sincerely hoped that his character wouldn't do anything embarrassing.


End file.
